Friday, April 3, 2009

THoroughly Useless (THU) Thursday - A Day Late and a Buck Short

There's been a lot of thoroughly useless shit surrounding Madonna lately.

First, there is her thoroughly useless bid to adopt a Malawian child to be a sister to the one she has already adopted. Thoroughly useless not only because it failed, but because of the thoroughly useless American adoption system that drives frustrated people to adopt children from overseas.

Okay, I'm going to take a break here and clarify a little bit. First of all, while I do not care for Madonna anymore - she has completely jumped the shark in my book - I give her credit for her charity efforts in Malawi. I applaud any private charity effort overseas, especially in this economy when the government needs to focus its money and energy here at home. Also, I am not against overseas adoption per se - it saves a child from poverty and (assuming the parenting is good) gives them a very good chance at a good life. However, it does nothing to relieve the burden on our own system or provide relief to hundreds of thousands of kids equally deserving of a shot.

Which brings me back to the celebs. They piss me off. King Brad and Queen Angelina and Madonna, while benefitting individuals, are doing harm to masses of people. If adopting underprivileged children is truly important, are they actively using their celebrity to push for adoption reform RIGHT HERE? Now I've researched this...meaning I've Googled the question like, three times...and can find no evidence of our most glamorous pushing to help kids right here. So, unless I can find some other evidence, I can blame these particular celebrities for not recognizing a real domestic problem and taking action.

I can also blame them for making shitty movies. And proposing thoroughly useless remakes.

In the name of the Blind Idiot God Azathoth and all his pipers this is a bad idea. Maybe the worst idea ever. In fact, I'm downright angry about it. Hasn't she fucked enough movies up already? Is nothing sacred?


Maggie said...

There is something to be said for a child growing up with his or her own people and in his or her own culture. I like programs like the Heifer foundation, that help empower people to support themselves. It's sad that Madonna's life is so empty, but money shouldn't buy her somebody else's life.

Dawn on MDI said...

I've got an idea why celebrities adopt from abroad - if they adopted a child here, there would be hundreds, if not thousands of people lined up claiming some kind of lineage with the tot to get access to the famous person's wealth. In Malawia or where ever, nobody gives a rat's ass who Madonna or Brangelina are and they aren't going to camp out in their yard to get some kind of pay-off and their 15 minutes of fame.
That's my theory, anyway.

Randal Graves said...

I think these celebrities should adopt here. There are plenty of poor, starving, out-of-work ex-financial CEOs out on the penthouse patio who need love.

In theory, I've got nothing against remakes (mainly because one such remake, John Carpenter's The Thing is much better than the original and is one of the great horror/sci-fi flicks of all time) but something like that can explained on the grounds of newer technology or wanting a bit more grit. How the fuck do you remake Casablanca?

Here's lookin' at you, Saddam.

Julie said...

I figure, no matter how expensive and time-consuming the American adoption system may be for most people to navigate, a super-rich celebrity can probably cut through the red tape a lot quicker.

I think Dawn is right about the motivation for adopting overseas. But as for why Africa or Asia, rather than, say, eastern Europe... again, it comes back to race. It is probably easier to stroke your own ego ("I'm so cool and open-minded!!!") if you adopt a kid of a different race.

Snave said...

I hadn't thought about Dawn's point. Given that their celebrity is something of a curse, why make things more complex than their celebrity status currently does?

But yes, there are a lot of kids here in our country who need parents.

Why adopt a child from R'yleh when there are plenty who need parents here at home?

Chef Cthulhu said...

Maggie - there's definitely that. Imagine helping people help themselves.

Dawn - Maybe. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman adopted two children. Don't know if there was anyone lining up...maybe they didn't want The Church of Scientology on their asses.

Randal - the needs of ex-CEO's don't amount to a hill o' beans in this world. We'll always have Basra.

Julie - exactly. Or better yet, lobby to make the red tape go away.

Snave - it can be a curse, but it seems largely self-imposed to me. And you don't have to adopt from R'lyeh. For just 69 cents a day - less than the cost of a cup of coffee - you can bring hope to the life of a young Deep One. You'll receive a picture of your deep one, a quarterly letter, and once a year we'll even fly them to your home to meet you and crossbreed with your family. Won't you please help?