Friday, March 27, 2009

A Random Task



Whoda' thinked that Austin Powers' "Who throws a shoe?" question would be answered so resoundingly in 2008?

4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them...if you want to do this, consider yourself tagged. Link to yourself in the comments.

But this post has nothing to do with that. It has to do with fish. No, wait, with mummified horse penises. Ummmm...6.022E+23. No, hang on...shit. This stuff is random, but what does any of it have to do with me?

6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up. Hey CRUM!!!! It's up.

3. Under stress, I consistently bite my lip until it splits and then bite the dead skin that hangs off. It drives my wife apeshit.

random - adj. having no specific pattern, purpose or objective.

2. Post the rules on your blog.

So it's really fucking stupid to call this whole exercise random as there is a purpose and objective to it.

6. I'm supposed to be slicking an old iPod for my son to use instead of doing this.

A number of factors may influence the accuracy of semen analysis results, and results for a single man may have a large amount of natural variation over time.[3] For this reason, a subfertile result must be confirmed with at least two further analyses.

5. Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.

1. I don't always feel like following all the rules of a meme.

Christopher Anvil (born 1922) is a pseudonym used by author Harry C. Crosby. He began publishing science fiction with the story "Cinderella, Inc." in the December 1952 issue of the science fiction magazine Imagination. By 1956, he had adopted his pseudonym and was being published in Astounding Magazine.

1. Link to the person who tagged you.

In 2006, for the seventh consecutive time, Allied Irish Bank (GB) won the title of "Britain's Best Business Bank" from the Forum of Private Business, being ranked top for customer service and maintaining its lead over other major banks.

2. I love to use the word "fuck". It also (rightfully) drives my wife apeshit.

The majority of trench maps were to a scale of 1:10,000 or 1:20,000 but maps of 1:40,000, 1:80,000 and smaller scales were printed. Many of the 1:40,000 maps show trenches but were of little use to front line troops. The infantry preferred 1:10,000 and the artillery, mainly 1:20,000 but 1:40,000 were used by the heavy artillery. In the Report on Survey on the Western Front 1914-1918, published in 1920, Colonel E.M. Jack wrote "The 1:20,000 was the map commonly used by the Artillery, and as trenches could be shown on it in sufficient detail to be of use to the infantry it was the most useful scale of all, and the one that could least easily be dispensed with." Colonel Jack was a key figure in Great War cartography.

4. Although I have had considerable success in my career and am well-respected, I feel I am of mediocre ability at best and perpetually not up to the task...to the point of self-defeat sometimes.

Procatalepsis is a figure of speech in which the speaker raises an objection to his own argument and then immediately answers it. By doing so, he hopes to strengthen his argument by dealing with possible counter-arguments before his audience can raise them.

3. Write six random things about yourself.

Izola Curry was an African-American woman who attempted to assassinate civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr. Born in Georgia, she stabbed King with a letter opener at a New York City book signing on September 20, 1958. King was eventually assassinated about ten years later.

5. I met my wife over teh intarwebs 12 years ago, and drove from CA to RI with her three days after meeting her in person.

Should I use facts from random Wikipedia articles to mix this shit up? Sure...

100 RANDOMIZE
200 X = INT(RND*100)+1
300 PRINT X
400 GOTO 100

5 comments:

the replicant said...

This shoves randomness down the stairs and opens the door to chaos theory...

Chef Cthulhu said...

Pretty much...as do most attempts at conscious randomness.

Randal Graves said...

Kids, this is what happens when you chug the contents of unlabeled bottles you found in the cellar of an abandoned mansion on the moors. Bravo.

MRMacrum said...

Personally I find this total disregard of blogging ettiquette to be beyond the pale. A report has been forwarded to the appropriate authority.

But let's see if we can sift through the mess and make some sense of it all.

What do mummified horse penises have to do with you? Obviously something. Some fascination or fear is being exhibited by merely mentioning them. Hmm. Where is Freud when you need him?

I am guessing your comments on semen analysis and the information gathered is the result of some issues regarding your manhood? Nah, you are sea faring man. Must have been a random conversation you overheard. But then there's that horse penis thing. I am so confused.

Chef Cthulhu said...

Randal - those bottles weren't full of anything that could have seriously altered my state of- aaaahh!!! I see extradimensional Elder Gods!!! I wonder if they'll be my friends...

Crum - the semen analysis thing was, oddly enough, from one of the random Wikipedia articles I cut from. Mummified horse penises was...well...that was probably the one random thing that came out this whole post.