Whoda' thinked that Austin Powers' "Who throws a shoe?" question would be answered so resoundingly in 2008?
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them...if you want to do this, consider yourself tagged. Link to yourself in the comments.
But this post has nothing to do with that. It has to do with fish. No, wait, with mummified horse penises. Ummmm...6.022E+23. No, hang on...shit. This stuff is random, but what does any of it have to do with me?
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up. Hey CRUM!!!! It's up.
3. Under stress, I consistently bite my lip until it splits and then bite the dead skin that hangs off. It drives my wife apeshit.
random - adj. having no specific pattern, purpose or objective.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
So it's really fucking stupid to call this whole exercise random as there is a purpose and objective to it.
6. I'm supposed to be slicking an old iPod for my son to use instead of doing this.
A number of factors may influence the accuracy of semen analysis results, and results for a single man may have a large amount of natural variation over time.[3] For this reason, a subfertile result must be confirmed with at least two further analyses.
5. Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
1. I don't always feel like following all the rules of a meme.
Christopher Anvil (born 1922) is a pseudonym used by author Harry C. Crosby. He began publishing science fiction with the story "Cinderella, Inc." in the December 1952 issue of the science fiction magazine Imagination. By 1956, he had adopted his pseudonym and was being published in Astounding Magazine.
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
In 2006, for the seventh consecutive time, Allied Irish Bank (GB) won the title of "Britain's Best Business Bank" from the Forum of Private Business, being ranked top for customer service and maintaining its lead over other major banks.
2. I love to use the word "fuck". It also (rightfully) drives my wife apeshit.
The majority of trench maps were to a scale of 1:10,000 or 1:20,000 but maps of 1:40,000, 1:80,000 and smaller scales were printed. Many of the 1:40,000 maps show trenches but were of little use to front line troops. The infantry preferred 1:10,000 and the artillery, mainly 1:20,000 but 1:40,000 were used by the heavy artillery. In the Report on Survey on the Western Front 1914-1918, published in 1920, Colonel E.M. Jack wrote "The 1:20,000 was the map commonly used by the Artillery, and as trenches could be shown on it in sufficient detail to be of use to the infantry it was the most useful scale of all, and the one that could least easily be dispensed with." Colonel Jack was a key figure in Great War cartography.
4. Although I have had considerable success in my career and am well-respected, I feel I am of mediocre ability at best and perpetually not up to the task...to the point of self-defeat sometimes.
Procatalepsis is a figure of speech in which the speaker raises an objection to his own argument and then immediately answers it. By doing so, he hopes to strengthen his argument by dealing with possible counter-arguments before his audience can raise them.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
Izola Curry was an African-American woman who attempted to assassinate civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr. Born in Georgia, she stabbed King with a letter opener at a New York City book signing on September 20, 1958. King was eventually assassinated about ten years later.
5. I met my wife over teh intarwebs 12 years ago, and drove from CA to RI with her three days after meeting her in person.
Should I use facts from random Wikipedia articles to mix this shit up? Sure...
100 RANDOMIZE 200 X = INT(RND*100)+1 300 PRINT X 400 GOTO 100
Like Dawn at Weldable Cookies who tagged me with this, I don't always take to memes right away, if at all. I've been doing quite a few lately though, so what's the harm in one more? Pretty simple - list 25 authors that have influenced my writing. I'm not sure I have that many influences lately outside The Naval Institute Guide to Writing. But I tried. I don't know if I see all of the below in my writing, but they all have/had a profound effect on me. Like my last "double digit" meme that required thinking, I'm publishing this one piece meal. Half today, half later...
1. H. P. Lovecraft - Duh. Nobody before or since has mastered the combining of science fiction and horror. I think the mythos he created is not only vastly under-appreciated, but also overdone in the silliest way. And many of us who appreciate it also overdo it...we all have. Hey, lots of people like to say "Cthulhu" and snicker like Beavis and Butthead.
2. J. R. R. Tolkein - The detail with which he created Middle Earth, combined with the eloquent manner in which he drew me into it. Very, very few could ever do that. He spoiled every other fantasy author for me. I could not get past 50 pages of any of them after I'd finished LoTR.
3. Patrick O'Brian - What Lovecraft and Tolkien are to fantasy and horror, O'Brian is to historical fiction, especially the great age of fighting sail. Forget the movie - though it is a reasonable representation of life in Nelson's navy - Master and Commander the book is such a phenomenal piece of literature. Instead of creating a world, he meticulously re-creates the world of two centuries ago, and goes to extreme lengths to preserve the actual history itself - if he puts Captain Aubrey in a particular event, he does so only when there is a logical avenue (i.e. he doesn't replace a Lieutenant with a Captain) and does not change the outcome (if the good guys lose, they lose); I've had arguments with friends who favor C. S. Forester's Hornblower to "Lucky Jack" Aubrey, but I prefer the historic accuracy and detail over the swashbuckling.
4. Michael Moorcock - Okay, I lied when I said Tolkien spoiled other fantasy authors for me. The Elric Saga showed me that fantasy can have a gritty, gut-wrenching anti-hero and still be damned good reading. It also turned me on to The Chronicles of Corum, a tale rife with mutilation, loss, slaughter and revenge. Oh yeah - and if you ever listen to Veteran of the Psychic Wars by Blue Oyster Cult, you have Moorcock to thank.
5. Denny Aaberg - If you aren't into surfing, surf history and the Malibu scene, you have no idea who he is. Denny Aaberg wrote two short stories about a 60's-era hot-dog surfer named "No Pants Mance" that are just brilliant. They embody the spirit of surfing to me. Maybe you've seen the movie Big Wednesday, directed by John Milius of all people. It's based upon the characters from these stories.
6. Stephen King - The second horror author on my literary trek to H. P. Lovecraft. He also cites Howie as a big time influence. His meshing of visceral, soul-shaking horror had a huge impact on me. His greatest work was done in a time when I was growing up and in the phase where I was just beginning the transition from boyhood to manhood. Everything takes on a deeper meaning then. Oh, and he's a Red Sox fan. So there.
7. Edgar Allen Poe - As with many people, he was my first literary introduction into the macabre and the dark side of human nature. The Telltale Heart and The Cask of Amantillado being early favorites. Though I think the latter would have been better if the main character had said "biatch" after "Nemo me impune lacessit" and "motherfucker" after "In pace requiascat!"
8. Earnest Hemingway - The courage and fortitude of the "Hemingway Hero" through pain and suffering, triumphing only to lose everything - as demonstrated in The Old Man and the Sea and A Farewell to Arms - love it or hate it, it's powerful.
9. George Orwell - Yeah the books about piggies and the government running everything are really great, but I also admire his persistent quest for clear, and concise written communication that relies on the active voice. If more people would take this on board, the average yokel's writing wouldn't be so doubleplusungood.
10. Nathaniel Hawthorne - The Scarlet Letter. I swore I'd shoot myself before I read this again or allowed myself to write anything that even vaguely resembled it.
11. William Gibson - Pioneer of the cyberpunk and steampunk fiction genres. Think the movie Johnny Mnemonic sucks? It does. But the short story is pretty awesome.
12. Craig Stecyk - journalist who in the 1970's first exposed the whole "Dogtown" skate scene in Venice CA in a series of articles for Skateboarder. Written many times about the surfing / skateboarding scene and lifestyle, always with an incredible edge. From in your face, "Fuck you, we rule and we know it" reporting to breathtaking "man vs. ocean" short stories. Great stuff.
Uh, okay, that's half...roughly. And I'm actually going to tag people this time because I think this is a cool meme and a good mental exercise. So I'll tag half the people now and half later.
Randal at L'ennui melodieux - it's about time I tagged you back, and you're a damned good writer, so I wanna' know!
Dr. Momentum at Aces Full of Links - you may have read more than any person I know. I hope you take this one up.
I decided to do the 15 most significant albums meme in two parts because that's how I decided to do it. Since I did 8 covering through high school last time, we start off in the college years now. So 7 more albums to cover the last 22 years...and the more I think about this stuff the harder it is, but who cares, I'm not getting a grade on this. Yadda-yadda-yadda-bullshit-bullshit here we go...
9. The Wall - Pink Floyd. Yeah, like every college kid doesn't relate to this album. The part I related to the most was Track 5, Side 4, "Stop". No, I wasn't tired of being a fascist dictator. I was going through some tough adjustments entering "military life" as an officer candidate and the lyrics "I wanna' go home...take off this uniform and leave the show..." rung fairly true. In retrospect, I was being a wimp, and I'm glad I didn't cave.
10. Pornography - The Cure. By the time I'd graduated college I had every one of their CD's. Still do. Ranging from early Brit post-punk pop to fluttery, big-hair-and-lipstick wailing euro-whatever, this album is by far their best work. Dark, downbeat, guitar-based despair with a heavy dose of pulsating base drums, goth rock at its best. All you sniveling "emo" twits should understand where you came from. Then get a life.
11. Turn it Around! - Various Artists. Another compilation that is not really an album at all. It was a pair of 7" records. I found it at a used / indy record shop near campus while I was gaining interest in the whole "DIY" attitude of the late 80's punk/hardcore scene. The record was produced as a fundraising effort for 924 Gilman St. I'd never heard of the place at the time, but based on the band names and pics on the jacket it looked to be a good risk. Turned out to be a great choice - played it to death.
12. Southern Harmony and Musical Companion - The Black Crowes. The first music to really move me after I had left the dreamworld of college and got out on my own. After dealing with so much of the early 90's "alternative" stuff that was saturating the LA and Long Beach airwaves this was the first new thing I'd heard in years that just felt "real". As awesome today as it was 17 years ago.
I'd have to say the most significant albums have been the ones that point backwards. And like a couple of previous ones, they are all compilations. I like them because they condense the work of artists I enjoyed or caught snippets of growing up, but most of the time did not stop to take the time (or was just too young) to really appreciate them for what they were doing.
13. The Story of The Clash Vol. 1 - The Clash. Do people really know how much is "owed" to Joe Strummer and Mick Jones? Probably not.
14. Decade of Steely Dan - Steely Dan. With Donald Fagen, another graduate of the Heavy Metal Soundtrack. All of their greatest work (except "Hey Nineteen") was done before I really even had a fucking clue of what good music was about.
15. Anthology: Through the Years - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Tom Petty. He may be ugly as sin, but his music is a fine wine...it only gets better with age. One of, if not THE, quintessential American rockers. Yeah Bruce Springsteen, maybe even more than you. Blasphemy? Depends on your point of view.
So there you have it...the last half. 15 is really a small number - I could easily double the number with honorable mentions, but I've spent enough time on this already, and my muse is departing...
Damn you, Randal and Briwei. DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!
I'm not sure why I'm starting my meme posts with movie references lately, but if you don't like it then screw you, nobody's making you pay to read my drivel.
Once again, I have a double dose of memes to get through courtesy of the above mentioned bloggers in arms. Both deal with music, both required work and thought (though in different ways) and both are pretty darned cool. In fact, I had wanted to get them posted well before now, but as luck would have it I had an overflow of work into my personal time, and that took priority. So without further ado, I'll get on with it... MEME THE FIRST: THE 15 MOST SIGNIFICANT ALBUMS OF MY LIFE, PART I - BIRTH THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL.
The rule is simple: list the 15 most significant albums in your life. The concept bears repeating; there is a big difference between significant and favorite.
What I would REALLY like to do is draw something of a diagram showing where they "popped up" in my life and what the links may be between them, but I just don't have the chops to do that right now. So I'll just list them, as close to chronological order as I can. Hold tight cuz this is going all over the place...
1. Disco Duck Dance Party - Irwin the Disco Duck and the Wibble Wabble Singers and Orchestra. Yeah. The first album that I ever owned, when I was about six years old. Significant in that it represents a significant disadvantage from the get-go. Sort of like being born a crack baby. But this story has a good ending...
2. Skip ahead to sixth grade, around 1978/9. Mr. Templin's music class was sometimes fun, sometimes a pain in the ass. Mr. Templin was 20-something, a hothead and a perfectionist. Sing badly, he got mad. Don't pay attention because you're a pre-pubescent thinking about going to your friends house after school and raiding his dad's Penthouse collection, he got mad. On the other hand, he cared about music. The coolest thing he did was spend about three weeks worth of classes going through Mussorgsky, Pictures at an Exhibition - Misao Tomita and compare it to the original composition as a demonstration of what "modern" electronic music was capable of. It was the one cool thing he did all year. The rest of the time he was an ass. I haven't heard the album in the thirty years since, but I do still love Mussorgsky.
3. Heavy Metal Soundtrack - Various Artists. The movie came out the summer between middle- and high school. My friends were going to go see it; one of them had a cool mom who would buy their tickets, take them in and then leave. Being a good kid I asked if I could see the film with them and dealt with the "no". I should have said "Hey, can I go see a movie with Mark and Stephen?" But as they say: "Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb." Well, if I couldn't see the movie I'd get the record. There is little on it that could be called metal - Black Sabbath's "The Mob Rules" is just about it. It was really my first intro to serious rock, I played the Hell out of it, and some of the artists on it would figure in future significant albums.
4. Scant months later, early in my Freshman year, I went and saw my first honest to Gawd rock concert: One on One - Cheap Trick. Cheap Trick had a track on the aforementioned Heavy Metal Soundtrack. There are MUCH BETTER Cheap Trick albums with much better songs out there and you don't need me to tell you what they are. But the show was awesome - I loved watching Rick Nielsen play his 5-necked guitar - and turned me on to the album and other music of theirs. And I can still hear them everytime I turn on the Colbert Report.
5. Rio - Duran Duran. Go ahead - snicker. Laugh. Ask me if I'm gay. Plenty of people did in high school. This guy who sat next to me in Algebra - Skippy as he was known - openly ridiculed me. Their videos had hot chicks. They were not overly talented, musically. Simon LeBon was not, nor will he ever be, an accomplished singer. But freshman and sophomore year I was heavy into them, and stayed interested in the band even after I had moved on to other genres.
6. Skippy may have openly ridiculed me, but he was a good guy. And as we were the two smah-test kids in Algebra II, our love of math bridged our musical differences. Now Skippy was something of a sick guy. He listened to bands like Venom and Slayer, and liked to talk about how uncomfortable his girlfriend got when he played them as mood music for getting laid. He also told me he'd set me right when it came to music. Well, early my Junior year, during "Flex Study" in the cafeteria, he let me listen to a song on his walkman. That song was Ride the Lightning - Metallica. To quote Randal,
The descending progression in the title track? .... Genius.
Hooked. Immediately. And yeah, I still have to crank that fucker, too. With "For Whom the Bell Tolls", "Creeping Death", and "The Call of Ktulu" it formed the gateway into an adolescence that was defined by metal appreciation. I had "Kill 'Em All" within a month, the "Am I Evil?" EP shortly thereafter, and the wait for "Master of Puppets" was agony. The floodgates had opened - Slayer, Venom, Wasp, Exodus, Possessed, Accept, Dio...awesome stuff. When Cliff Burton died and their tour was put on hold I threw away my Ozzie tickets...fuck that bloated old sod singing about shots in the dark, I was only going to see his opening act! Vindication would be mine in a headbanging orgy however, when they would come back as headliners on the "Puppets" tour, when my buds and I would successfully move from our ticketed seats to THE FRONT ROW in a pile of people six feet deep pressed up against the rail at the orchestra pit that separated us and the stage.
7. Spreading the Disease - Anthrax. The first speedmetal album I bought (after Metallica). Great, great, GREAT album. "Stand or Fall", "The Enemy", "Gung Ho", "Madhouse" - they just don't write 'em like that anymore, uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-UH. Thank you, Greg Kihn. MTV pissed me off by banning the "Madhouse" video because they felt it denigrated the mentally ill. How could it? They were all buying the fucking album and going to the show! But MTV had standards to uphold - ones that eventually led to reality shows about a bisexual whore making brainless fucks eat bull penises for a chance to sleep with her. The "moment" for me on this album was at the very end, right after "Gung Ho", when Scott Ian and company break into this beautiful piece:
But much, much harder. They were the first metal show I saw, in a hole in the wall in Providence called "The Living Room".
8. Powerslave - Iron Maiden.Not my favorite Maiden album by far, but it was my first. Being a kid who loved military history I dug the "Aces High" video, bought the album for the song, and that was it. Dickinson's vocal range, the harmonizing of the guitars, and epics like "The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner" and other songs throughout their discography lay ahead. I bought all their albums - even the two with Paul Di'Anno on vocals. If you've never heard it, "Killers" is a ballsy song. Oh...and that "Heavy Metal" soundtrack? Nicko McBrain, Maiden's drummer, originally played for a French rock band named Trust, who had a track on it.
Okay! That takes me from my early years of being a snivelling wussy through full fledged head-banger in high school. Tomorrow I'll deal with college and adult life. I said these were a bit of work, and in the interest of keeping this from being a complete snoozer, I'll save the remaining paragraphs for tomorrow.
It's nice to credit the photo source, but I lost the URL. So, whoever you are, thanks for the excellent picture! (This sentence is also lifted...but true! I tried going back through and finding it, but you can imagine how that turned out...IF, by some odd chance, you find this incredibly obscure and unworthy site, know that you took a great picture!)
4 - Use Photoshop or similar to put it together.
5 - Post your photo to your FB page with this text in the "caption" or "comment" and tag friends you’d like to join in.
These guys are definitely late 70's / early 80's post-punk/new wave. Somewhere in the vicinity of The Tubes with some forays into Buggles-like synth-pop. It was their only album and it produced one hit, "Sex Placebo", that spent four weeks on the charts and topped out at number 22. The rest of the album was pretty forgettable, as was the rest of the band's career. In fact, a Rolling Stone review in 1981 declared "With the exception of their one catchy if mediocre single, Neither Useful Nor Enjoyable is a fair description of The End of Medicine's debut album."
The first is the "Random Song Answer Meme" that circulates on Facebook, but I saw it here. It has 18 questions, and it works like this:
1. Put your iPod/Tunes on shuffle. Or, if you're a Luddite, blindfold yourself and stand in front of your record collection. 2. For each question, press the next button. 3. You must write down the title of the song, no matter how silly or embarrassing. 4. You may comment on songs in brackets after the song name. In this case, I listed the artist.
So here goes...
1. What do your friends think of you? 100 Punks (Generation X)
2. If someone says "Is this ok?" you say: Ogdru Jahad (The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets)
3. What do you like in a guy/girl? I Don't Like Mondays (The Boomtown Rats)
4. How do you feel today? Frank Mills (The Lemonheads)
5. What is your life's purpose? Rosealia (Better Than Ezra)
6. What is your motto? Not Sleeping Around (Ned's Atomic Dustbin)
7. What do you think about very often? I'm a Disco Dancer And A Sweet Romancer (Christopher Just)
8. What do you think of your best friend? People Who Died (Jim Carroll Band)
9. What do you think of the person you like? Ask (The Smiths)
10. What is your life story? I Ran (A Flock of Seagulls)
11. What do you want to be when you grow up? Whiskey Johnny (Traditional Sea Shanty)
12. What do you think of when you see the person you like? Moonlight Sonata (Beethoven)
13. What will you dance to at your wedding? Waiting (Cake)
14. What will they play at your funeral? Never Say Never (Romeo Void)
15. What is your hobby/interest? Greenland Whale Fisheries (Van Dyke Parks)
16. What is your biggest fear? Die Walkure Act 2 - Wotan's Rage (Wagner)
17. What is your biggest secret? You've Got Another Thing Comin' (Judas Priest)
18. What do you think of your friends? St. Jimmy (Green Day)
The second is the "Single Letter Meme". Found here. Copy the below questions, erase my answers, fill in your own. Use the first letter of your name to answer each question. No made Make up shit if you want - it has to be real should be fun!
1. What is your name: W******
2. A four Letter Word: Wank
3. A boy's Name: Wanky McWankster
4. A girl's Name: Wendy Wankmee
5. An occupation: Wanker
6. A color: Wankjuice White
7. Something you wear: Wankstains
8. A food: Wanko Crusted Tilapia
9. Something found in the bathroom: Wanktowel
10. A place: Wankylvania
11. A reason for being late: Wanking
12. Something you shout: WANKER!
13. A movie title: Spanking the Monkey (aka - WANKING)
14. Something you drink: Wankshake
15. A musical group: Weird Al Wankovic
16. An animal: Wankodactyl
17. A street name: Wank Avenue
18. A type of car: Wankerati
19. A song title: Wank God I'm a Country Boy
20. A book title: Wank Waldo
21. A verb: Wank
And I tag....NOBODY! If you think it's fun, try it.
There...two barrels empty. Zombie blown away. Now where's my chainsaw?
