Thursday, April 17, 2008

Sick S#!% in Washington, DC

My job takes me to DC every few months, as my boss works in the 5-sided building with no windows, and usually the most unusual thing I see down there is a three-star walking down a passageway eating a donut.

But today something happened that really creeped me out, and it was at the rental car return at Reagan International.

I'd just paid off my rental, and headed into the men's room to change out of my uniform (I feel more comfortable snoozing with my iPod going when I'm in civvies). Two things I notice are a man standing in the middle of the restroom and a large stall for changing/handicapped use.

It happened pretty quickly, but it appeared that when the guy saw me looking at/heading for the stall, he decided to walk in and start using it. It seemed odd, as there was an open urinal and another open stall.

Without closing the door, he stands in front of the toilet, and apparently begins attempting to urinate. I try to mind my own business, with my back turned, but I can see him in the reflection of the washbasin mirror. I don't hear anything. Of course, I'm expecting to hear the sound of urine hitting water, but nope. Nothing. Hey, maybe he's having trouble...I've had times like that, especially when my name pops for a random piss-test.

Finally, I hear urine hitting water, so I assume he's "found his stride". He finishes up, I hear him unroll some toilet paper (guess he splashed on the ring) and comes out. He looked pretty odd to me...very over-groomed eyebrows and moustache, and I'd swear the guy had some sort of makeup base on his skin, almost a bit "glossy".

Whatever. I just wanna' change and get on the damned shuttle. I walk by him and into the stall, shut the door, shove my bag in the corner and hang my garment bag. Unzip my trousers, untuck and unbutton my shirt, then I turn around...

...and I notice it.

The wet floor...what the Hell?

Then I notice the toilet ring. He obviously didn't wipe it well, because it was still covered in...well, piss.

WTF?!?!?!?! You mean this guy appeared to cut me off heading into this stall just so he could piss on the ring for 30 seconds and walk out?

I don't even know where to go from there. Just suffice to say I won't use that restroom again.


briwei said...

Two thoughts.

1. Ew.

2. Be grateful he didn't have a "wide stance"

Dr. Momentum said...

Be grateful it isn't the bathroom in your workplace. Some strange stuff going on here. Firstly, there's some guy who stage-whispers to himself, which in and of itself isn't too much of a problem, but the stuff he says ranges from off-kilter to sexually aggressive. We still haven't identified who that is.

And then there is another guy who makes some of the strangest noises I've ever heard in a restroom. I won't go into detail.

Possible it's the same person, but it's all just a little too creepy.

Stickthulhu said...

Yeah, you win the creepy restroom award. There are just some things you don't want to hear when peristalsis is in it's terminal phase.