I am so proud of what Americans can do. When faced with something obviously wrong, it heartens me to know that we as people will put aside our differences and force the change that is needed to set things aright.
Inspired by your courageous struggle to correct the horrible atrocities of Tropicana and rebuild an OJ container you can be proud of, I present you with the above piece to show how you are truly embracing a new spirit of change.
I know the word "Tropicana" written vertically in big letters can make a container seem just like a generic. And I know how hard it can be to actually pick up a container and read it to make sure you have the pulp concentration you so richly deserve. These words...this...thinking and interpreting. It's so hard. You are true activists. Just like idiots from Florida who punch every hole on the right side of a ballot out of habit and then cry on TV because they ended up voting for Pat Buchanan. It is your refusal to compromise, to actually take responsibility for parsing information, that McDonald's graciously allows us to say "Number 1" instead of "Big Mac, Fries, and a Coke" (Well, the dumb cashiers who don't know where to find individual keys are also part of this, but that came after the dumbing down of our favorite hyper-corn menu).
I have never felt better about how screwed we are.