I'm sorry ... but not enough to tell you outright.

What happens when you read a book about a 1924 riot between the KKK and students from Notre Dame University?

If you're a janitor and student at IUPU, you get accused of racial harassment.

But Sampson says his union official likened the book to bringing pornography to work...

Huh? Pornography? Nice to see your union sticking up for you. I can only speculate as to why they didn't. Maybe you should have been a Boston firefighter. Then you could have brought porn to work, got high and pleasured yourself to the porn in your break room and they'd still argue that you deserve a pay raise to compensate for drug testing and sexual harassment training...but we're not talking about Boston idiots...we're talking about Indiana idiots.

...and the school's affirmative action officer in November told Sampson his conduct constituted racial harassment.

"You used extremely poor judgment by insisting on openly reading the book related to a historically and racially abhorrent subject in the presence of your black co-workers," Lillian Charleston wrote in a letter to Sampson.

My jaw kinda' dropped when I read that. What an ignorant, Pavlovian reaction to a "brand name". Don't try to read the title in context. In this case, just focus on the "KKK" part and figure it must be a racist book. Funny, it's not. It appears to be about the other thing that rips this country limb from limb - religion. Maybe these knee-jerkers could have read the title of the book. Maybe someone could have asked him, "Hey, what's that book about?" Naah. Too hard. Why try to understand what he's doing?

Soooooo, once the various university staffers realize what the book was about, and that it was in their own library, what should they do? Well, they apologize. Sorta'.

"I can candidly say that we regret this situation took place," Bantz wrote.

OMFGWTF?!?! YHGTBFSM!!!!!

The affirmative action officer's apology is no better. You sniveling cowards. You absolutely bear responsibility for focusing the educational and racial climate of that place, and after YOUR UNINFORMED KNEE-JERK sends it into convulsions, you express regret that this vague "situation" happened.

How about, "I am terribly sorry for how we reacted and questioned your motives for reading this book. You did nothing inappropriate. We hope you accept our apology. We will take great effort to ensure that all people associated with this institution understand and are committed to educational freedom and the fair treatment of all." Or something like that. I dunno', you supposedly got an education to get where you are. Apparently nobody taught you to question, investigate or understand before you make a decision.

Maybe someone did, but you've put yourselves on such thin eggshells for fear of upsetting someone that you've compromised that quality. Maybe you're reacting to a logo. You see the golden arches, you know there are yummy french fries inside the bag. You see "KKK" on a book, you know there's a bigot reading it.

Whatever it is, you've compromised your office. Don't worry, I'm sure you won't get fired or anything.

He'd Have Scored Higher on the SAT...

Partial credit is alive and well in England, it seems.

A pupil who wrote f**k off on his GCSE English paper was given two marks out of 27.

Even though the task was to "describe the room you are sitting in", simple correct spelling and conveying a thought counted for something...

If it had had an exclamation mark it would got a little bit more because it would have been showing a little of skill.

Imagine if he had added "you bloody plonker" at the end...

Apparently, the largest exam board that controls the testing in England doesn't acknowledge correct spelling and syntax when it comes to obscenity. Let's face it - someone who writes "Fuck off" as an answer to an essay question is going nowhere fast, and probably deserves zero points; but to sanction or disregard obscenity in a graded writing as a matter of policy - well, aren't you limiting thought/expression?

Full story here.

Random Musings...Mark is Everywhere

I'm finishing up my workout this afternoon with 20 minutes on a stationary bike. The last random song from my workout mix is That's Good by Devo. Mark Mothersbaugh has always been the iconic face of this group for me.


I don't know what I like more about that video...the french fry nailing the donut or the sillouhetted image of the band at the end.

In the last year, my daughters have come to love the TV Show Yo Gabba Gabba!. Mark routinely appears on the show doing a "how to" drawing segment.

He looks like he did in 82. Just older and fatter with more facial hair. Come to think of it, so do I.

In 2006, I spent six months in Bahrain working on the FIFTH Fleet Staff. Towards the end of my tenure, a Reserve Lieutenant Commander reported to the staff. Mark Mothersbaugh is his cousin.

In 2001-2002, while my family and I were living in Bahrain, my oldest was really into the Rug Rats. Hell, we all were. Who did the music? You guessed it...Mark did it.

My son loved the movie Rugrats in Paris. In the opening scene the kids are "acting out" a scene from the movie The Godfather, but calling it "The Bobfather". Some thought this was a reference to J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, founder of The Church of the Sub-Genius. I had several friends in college who really went overboard with that stuff. It was entertaining at first, but then it got annoying.

Oh...and Mark Mothersbaugh is a Sub-Genius which, while it may associate him with my friends' annoying obsessions around 1988-89, it means he celebrates "The Feast of St Cthulhu" which, according to the Sub-Genius Calendar, is November 10th. So I guess that's okay. Maybe we'll have a feast here at the restaurant on November 10th.

Speaking of 1989, I still have We're All Devo! on VHS that I bought in '89. My roommates and I used to watch it a lot. I bet it's just as cool now as it was then. I should fire it up and see.

I've spent about my entire adult life (not to mention adolescent life!) dealing with this guy in one way or another.

Dormant Passions

My wife is great; she got me two new books from Amazon, and they both speak to two of my passions that, unfortunately, I have not exercised for too damned long. The first is Brewing Up a Business by Dogfish Head founder Sam Calagione. I love brewing beer. I'd love to say I've been brewing for 14 years, but in reality it's more like I've owned brewing equipment for 14 years. It's been a year at least since I've put it to use. I've always thought it would be great to make and sell my own craft brewed beer. I had even thought of a name for the brewery and beers. Who knows, with (arguably) seven years until my retirement from my first career, maybe this book will provide the spark.

The second "dormant passion" is surfing. And for that, I received All for a Few Perfect Waves, The Audacious Life and Legend of Rebel Surfer Miki Dora. I dunno' where to start about him, so I'll just quote Tolkien and leave you to substitute the name...

Gandalf! If you had heard only a quarter of what I have heard about him, and I have only heard very little of all there is to hear, you would be prepared for any sort of remarkable tale. Tales and adventures sprouted up all over the place wherever he went, in the most extraordinary fashion.

It's true. The guy was a legend. Like brewing, I haven't paddled out on one of my four boards in years. Maybe I'll get another spark...

So I can't wait to dig in - once I finish my current book.

This Week's Breakfast Special

THE R'LYEH: two farm-fresh eggs and four strips of bacon, stacked on a tentacled pancake. So good, it's insane!.......................$3.95



I tried other arrangements like the following, but I think the "many-tentacled" effect was best.

Stupid Criminals

I've been in a bit of a funk lately. I guess having one of your people die in an accident and having the standard set of school-kid illnesses ravage the household for the weeks that follow kind of kills your muse. Having lunch with my cousins James and Bob today helped pull me out of the funk. It took some really stupid jackasses to bring back the muse, though.

When life gives you lemons. Make lemonade. And when some loser comes along and robs your lemonade stand, hunt the sum'bitch down.

How much does smoking really cost? Try $250,000 and twenty years. The captain has lit the face punching and racial epithet lights. Please remain seated with your seat belt fastened tightly across your lap when you finish assaulting the flight attendants.

But flying is SO uncomfortable when it's stuck up my ass. I guess this brings a new meaning to the term "coke head" ... I mean it, this lady was wiggin'.

Hat tip all to FARK.com

Cool stuff my extended family does...

What do Eazy-E, raptors, and Lucha Libre have in common?

My younger cousin Jonathan has, in recent years, worked on short films and documentaries about them.

Check out his demo reel...



His site is right here.

Cuz...you frikkin' ROCK!