If You're Going to Attend Miskatonic U, Expect to See Some Elder-Signs

...like this one...


...or this one...


...or, if you can get one of those sweet little eldrich coeds from the "Sisters of Azathoth" pledge class back to your room, you just may be lucky enough to see THIS ONE!


Now THAT's a portal in which I am sure no evil lurks...

Apparently, some students and staff at a local Catholic University don't feel that way. Now I've made it clear that my religious views are somewhere in the void between agnosticism, atheism and just plain not giving a shit (it's a little place I like to call "Beer") but this seems a bit ridiculous.

“There is no choice if you don’t think it’s appropriate. You can’t turn it around,” said biology professor Dan Kirschner, faculty adviser for BC’s chapter of Hillel, a Jewish student group. “I think it is being insensitive to the people of other faith traditions here.”

Ummm, lessee...private university...openly declares itself Catholic...wants to have a crucifix in every room...hey, you know, they can do what they want. It seems appropriate to me. And to me, insensitive (downright discriminatory in fact) would be not allowing a Hillel chapter. If the school goes Unitarian, feel free to bitch.

Amir Hoveyda, head of BC’s chemistry department, blasted the school in an e-mail to the Herald for “not being interested in an exchange with its faculty members.”

In an interview with the college newspaper, The Observer, which broke the story, Hoveyda described the crucifixes as “offensive” and the university’s actions as “anti-intellectual.”

Professor Hoveyda, I'm sure they are interested in an exchange with you - say, on, oh...I don't know...issues affecting the Chemistry department? Why did you agree to be a head of department for a Catholic university you find the Catholic "mythos" and its symbols offensive? And as for "anti-intellectual" you lose me there. For Yog Sothoth's sake, they put a fucking crucifix in a class! It's not like they invited Ben Stein and his gang of yahoos to teach creationism as a valid scientific theory to your classes under the guise of "academic freedom". As long as they haven't started telling you how to teach chemistry or to make sure everyone believes that supersaturated solutions can only come from God through the grace of Tiny Little 8-Pound, Six Ounce Baby Jesus, and that the tongues of flame on the bunsen burners are really the Holy Spirit, I'm pretty sure you can stave off the anti-intellectual brain rays emanating from a crucifix. There are plenty of examples of the anti-intellectual aspects of ultra-conservative, ultra-Christian institutions and movements. This isn't one of them.

Hey, per-fess'r...maybe you could go teach at a muslim college. I understand the sorority pledges are all Halal:


Ya' just can't tell 'em you'd like to PORK 'em!

Great Cthulhu's strap-on! Now THAT'S INSENSITIVE, if not downright sexist.

I'm sorry ... but not enough to tell you outright.

What happens when you read a book about a 1924 riot between the KKK and students from Notre Dame University?

If you're a janitor and student at IUPU, you get accused of racial harassment.

But Sampson says his union official likened the book to bringing pornography to work...

Huh? Pornography? Nice to see your union sticking up for you. I can only speculate as to why they didn't. Maybe you should have been a Boston firefighter. Then you could have brought porn to work, got high and pleasured yourself to the porn in your break room and they'd still argue that you deserve a pay raise to compensate for drug testing and sexual harassment training...but we're not talking about Boston idiots...we're talking about Indiana idiots.

...and the school's affirmative action officer in November told Sampson his conduct constituted racial harassment.

"You used extremely poor judgment by insisting on openly reading the book related to a historically and racially abhorrent subject in the presence of your black co-workers," Lillian Charleston wrote in a letter to Sampson.

My jaw kinda' dropped when I read that. What an ignorant, Pavlovian reaction to a "brand name". Don't try to read the title in context. In this case, just focus on the "KKK" part and figure it must be a racist book. Funny, it's not. It appears to be about the other thing that rips this country limb from limb - religion. Maybe these knee-jerkers could have read the title of the book. Maybe someone could have asked him, "Hey, what's that book about?" Naah. Too hard. Why try to understand what he's doing?

Soooooo, once the various university staffers realize what the book was about, and that it was in their own library, what should they do? Well, they apologize. Sorta'.

"I can candidly say that we regret this situation took place," Bantz wrote.

OMFGWTF?!?! YHGTBFSM!!!!!

The affirmative action officer's apology is no better. You sniveling cowards. You absolutely bear responsibility for focusing the educational and racial climate of that place, and after YOUR UNINFORMED KNEE-JERK sends it into convulsions, you express regret that this vague "situation" happened.

How about, "I am terribly sorry for how we reacted and questioned your motives for reading this book. You did nothing inappropriate. We hope you accept our apology. We will take great effort to ensure that all people associated with this institution understand and are committed to educational freedom and the fair treatment of all." Or something like that. I dunno', you supposedly got an education to get where you are. Apparently nobody taught you to question, investigate or understand before you make a decision.

Maybe someone did, but you've put yourselves on such thin eggshells for fear of upsetting someone that you've compromised that quality. Maybe you're reacting to a logo. You see the golden arches, you know there are yummy french fries inside the bag. You see "KKK" on a book, you know there's a bigot reading it.

Whatever it is, you've compromised your office. Don't worry, I'm sure you won't get fired or anything.