Tuesday, November 18, 2008

104 Generals and Admirals Line Up...

SANTA BARBARA, November 17, 2008 - Retired Admiral Charles Larson, former Superintendent of the U.S. Naval Academy, tops a list of 104 retired Generals and Admirals calling for an end to the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy governing gay troops, the Associated Press reported today.

IT'S ABOUT FRACKING TIME SOMEBODY SPOKE UP. I know they're retired, and I know this hasn't killed the policy, but it's a huge increase (by 80 or more, if I remember correctly) of support from retired GO/FO's (General Officers/Flag Officers).

WaPo seems to indicate the public's view has changed since DADT's implementation. I was interested to see that the poll quoted only 50% of veterans as supporting homosexuals serving openly. I think those numbers should be higher, and would be higher, particularly among serving military. In the Navy I found out that sexual orientation rarely remained a mystery on a ship, and in general nobody really cared...they were more worried about if you knew how to do your job. Fancy that. Does it mean I don't think there would be any bumps? That's a ridiculous assumption. Of course there would be, but I don't think they would be severe ones.

I don't think we can expect the policy to vanish immediately - though it should - given Obama's statement that he would work with the Pentagon to build consensus rather than go it alone. But we should expect (and demand) it go away.

I can tell you that with the decreasing number of people who are considered "recruitable" (mostly due to health/psychological/criminal/etc. issues) by current standards, we do our forces, our country and our citizens wrong if we require any portion of them to disavow or conceal themselves in order to serve. Not only does it drive talent away, but it is wholly against the ideals we would ask them to support and defend.

I really hope DoD "nuts up" and gets this done.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Middle-Eastern John Lovitz Look-Alike Sues Michael Jackson

Well, at least that's my take on this tidbit from the UK Daily Mail.

Sheikh Abdullah Bin Hamad Bin Isa Al-Khalifa (lit. Abdullah, son of Hamad, son of Isa of the Khalifa) is suing ol' MJ for 4.6 Million Pounds Sterling (a shade over $6M) for not living up to a recording deal. MJ says it was a gift.

Sounds like a good candidate for Judge Judy.
But the sheikh, who is the second son of the king of Bahrain, said the money he spent supporting Jackson's lavish lifestyle was purely an advance on a music rights deal he agreed with the singer.

In a sworn statement read to the judge Mr Justice Nigel Sweeney, he said: 'I would never pay anybody millions of dollars for nothing in return.'

The collaboration started in 2004 and the pair agreed a deal to release pop songs to raise money for the victims of the Asian tsunami and Hurricane Katrina, the court heard.

I love Bahrain. S and I lived there for three and one half years; L was born there, we vacationed in Australia from there, we were there on 11 September 2001. We made friends there that we will keep for life - among locals, among expats, among our fellow Navy families.

Bahrain became a kingdom (a constitutional monarchy) around 2000. Being a kingdom (and even before) there were several places alongside the road that had billboards showing the King and his sons, the Crown Prince and Sheik Abdullah. I always thought Sheik Abdullah looked like John Lovitz in a gutrah (what Bahrainis call a kefiyeh).

Can't find that particular picture anywhere, but hey, if you open the article you can see the King of Pop in an abbayah...

It's Official...I'm An Utter Maniac

Your SaniTest(TM) Results

Your score is: 146

For easier understanding, the HPLHS SaniTest assessment algorithm converts your raw score to a scale of 1 to 10. This number is your INSANITY INDEX.

INSANITY INDEX 8.44 This high score indicates that you're an utter maniac. People who score at this level are often highly productive, but tend to overlook some of life's more picayune details, such as grooming and all concepts of right and wrong. Some other notable people who scored at this level include explorer/conqueror Christopher Columbus and rock guitarist Keith Richards.


bwaaaahaahaaahahahahahahahah!!!

The H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society SANI-TEST

Well, It's an "A-Thon" of Sorts

Today I found out one thing...doctors won't perform any sort of surgery, even outpatient, on you when you have a vasovagal syncope in their office. I wasn't feeling too well today, but decided to go ahead anyway, and that's what happened. So, another day. And as one post is enough on the subject, consider this follow up the last I'll mention it here.

However, I did promise an "Ow-My-Balls-A-Thon" and as I can't just broadcast dead air in it's place, it's officially kicking off now. Yes, rapidfire, low-quality posting mixed in with occasional updates to the page, now more because I want to than I have nothing to do.



Sigh...I had hoped to be relaxing, getting pampered, in my combination seat/toilet, with my big bucket of Brawndo the Thirst Mutilator sludge. Oh well.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Pre-Op Blathering...Finding A Way.

Okay, some may consider this TMI, and others may read on. Whichever you are, I do not care.

Nine years and ten months ago, I had just returned from a deployment to the Arabian Gulf, and my wife S and I had determined that after 18 months of marriage it was time to start having children. We now have four beautiful children, two of each. When we started we actually thought about having two more, but four will keep us busy and poor enough for a while. So we are done procreating.

Tomorrow at 1030 am, nearly nine years to the day after S gave birth to our first child, I will head to the urologists' office to make it officially impossible...or as close to impossible as possible.

I remember lying in bed one evening when we had decided to start trying, and thinking about what it meant. Not about being a father or anything like that; I don't think the reality of that really hit me until the first time I told L to do something and he yelled "No!" back at me. I think it was more about "taking my place" in the evolutionary history of the species, if that doesn't sound too hokey. In the billions of years since life first showed up on the planet, it has had but one purpose - to make more life. Life has adapted to its environment, it has transformed and even actively shaped its environment, for the purpose of being able to make more life. As much as I thought I had achieved by then, or would go on to achieve, here I was simply taking my place among the billions of other organisms of my species that were working to ensure its continuation.

One might think I found this depressing. It was just the opposite. I was overcome by a sense of wonder, like I was a cosmologist catching a glimpse down the road to a unifying theory of physics. It was more of a religious experience to me than most anything I'd experienced after. I was "doing my part".

I think of Jurassic Park by the late Michael Crichton. One of the many excellent morals of the story is that "Life finds a way". Whether on a molecular level (remember amphibian gene splicing allowing female dinosaurs to change sex to male) or on a group/societal level (remember the dinosaurs (velociraptors?) watching the tankers come in and leave) life finds a way to move forward. We have children because we want someone to carry our legacy on, to carry on our name, to make us happy, because our religion tells us to - all reasons "designed" to benefit us as organisms or our community. In reality, these machinations are simply "life finding a way". Our evolved brains and ability to reason expresses the primal drive to "find a way" in a way that better suits our more rational construct of the universe. At least in the developed world. In the developing world, "life finds a way" in part because larger families can experience greater economic benefit. Simplified, I know, but this is a philosophical rambling and not a research paper.

So anyway, for whatever reason, life has found a way in a very minute sense (exactly 4 ways in 6.2 billion) through me, and tomorrow we're making sure it doesn't find any more ways, so we can focus on making the ways we've found the best ways they can be.

Which means I'll be sitting around a lot. Which means I'll be on the computer a lot. Which means that the the first (and ONLY!) Cthulhu's Family Restaurant "Ow-My-Balls-A-Thon" starts tomorrow afternoon. From when I get home and settled in, I will either post or produce some modification to the format of Cthulhu's Family Restaurant every 1-2 hours (hey this isn't going to be an exact thing!) until I go to bed between 11 pm and midnight. I hope to finally get some changes made and things added I wanted to do, and pad my monthly NaBloPoMo stats as well.

As I ponder tomorrow and the experience, I'm reminded of a conversation I had with my 10th grade health teacher regarding human reproduction.

Young Stickthulhu: Mr. Health Teacher, I'm confused...what's the difference between a testicle and a seminal vesicle?

Mr. Health Teacher: Well, Stick - there's a VAS DEFERENS!

Ummm...not for long. TMI!!! TMI!!!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Rare Customer Service Experience

The last few days have come at me really quickly, and even though I sort of had an idea of what I wanted to talk about a few days in advance, I didn't have time to "tee up" today. So, I'm going to talk about an experience I had today; because it was a rare experience for us, especially these days.

Last weekend we went to a local franchise restaurant, and when we returned home we realized we had left our "Tower of Power" there. The Tower of Power is a tower of stackable clear containers we use to transport our youngest child's (call him J) snacks in. It's a convenient contraption, and it truly does allow us to hold power over 14 month-old J. I called them the day after, and the person answering the phone confirmed they had it, and they usually hold things until people come and get them. I told them to hang on to it, we would be by to get it.

We figured today would be the time to go by and get it. My wife had been in the kitchen most all day making a birthday cake for my oldest son's (L) birthday party tomorrow (not his actual birthday - but it's when he's having his friends over) and neither of us felt like cooking.

We asked the host station about the T of P, and they said they'd have to look in back, but if we left it it was probably there. They seated us, but it being Saturday after 5 pm, we could see they were swamped, and I knew they would not get around to it. So, when our waitress came by to take our drink and app orders, we described it to here, told her our story, and asked if she could take a look. She said she would, and headed back.

Five minutes later, the manager comes out, saying he heard we wanted to speak to him. Huh? You need to call a manager about a lost and found question? That seemed odd, and being a boss myself, I thought it odd. Maybe she couldn't find it, and thought we might like it more if the manager came and spoke to us. So we tell him the story, and he says he'll take a look. Nope, I guess the waitress didn't go check (of course, it's Saturday night and they're busy) but I figured with everyone there someone besides the guy running the place would do it. But I can appreciate it when the man in charge takes an interest in a customer's needs. It can pay off some times.

Meanwhile, our food orders are taken, and and while we're waiting for our food the manager comes and tells us he can't find it, but admits it's busy and he's got a lot going on; so he takes our info, and assures us that if he finds it he'll let us know. Great. Of course, no trip to a restaurant is complete without the three year-old ("O") suddenly needing to go pee, so S takes her to the ladies'. L decided he has to go as well, and heads off to the gents'.

While they are out, the food comes, and they get S's order wrong. Let me say that I've never seen anyone have worse luck with orders than S. I'll give the restaurant industry a 3 in 10 failure rate when it comes to her. And she's not picky. She just doesn't like what she doesn't like; people just don't seem to pay attention.

Anyway, she ordered a steak salad, and the menu said it came with a "Bleu Cheese Vinaigrette" dressing. Unlike yours truly, who dreams of Bleu Cheese flavored gum, toothpaste and ice cream, S hates the stuff. So she substitutes a mustard vinaigrette. The salad comes with the desired dressing, but crumbled bleu cheese is piled on it. Bad. Next time the waitress comes by, we pull her aside, and explain. She says S asked for a change in dressing, but S explains she doesn't like bleu cheese. Plus, I think to myself, there was no mention of crumbled bleu cheese on the salad. She politely apologizes and takes it back saying it will only take a few minutes, but while she's doing so looks at S and sighs. WTF? Hey, I can understand if you're busy and there's a misunderstanding, but please...at least smile, keep it quiet and piss and moan to your friends in back (I'm sure she did that, too).

We check the menu. Like I thought, there is no mention of crumbled bleu cheese. S has completely lost her appetite. "A few minutes" turns out to be 40. The kids are done, I've been stalling on eating the whole time, but S had insisted I eat, and I'm done. It's too late - S says so, I agree, they just need to take the salad back. Of course, F and O, the daughters, are behaving typically - they're done eating (not much) and are more focused on singing, coloring on menus and making non-euclidean structures with the leftovers.

So the salad comes out and, as is customary in most places, the manager brings it to us. It's an awkward moment. He's really been decent, especially since he personally looked around for the T of P. But the exchange is nonetheless clumsy -
"Here it is, sorry about that, you see, the Bleu Cheese Vinaigrette IS crumbled bleu cheese with a normal vinaigrette over it. They made a mistake and left the bleu cheese on."

"We're sorry, but the kids are done, it's late, and we need to be getting home." J is getting cranky, and in doing so bangs his head on the table. "We just need the check."

"Sure, I'll get it to you, and I'll take care of this. You want this boxed up?" we agree, and it comes.

Big surprise is when the check comes. We expect (though we don't always get) the unsatisfactory meal to be taken off. Well, not this time. EVERY MEAL AND EVERY NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK IS COMP'D. That was about $58-worth of food.

I'm pretty floored. I would have done the same, but I consider myself a generous guy, sometimes too much so. And it struck me that the manager could be thinking we just showed up with some B.S. story about misplacing something that doesn't exist, then decided to whine about something else to get something for nothing. He may still believe that, though it's not true. However, it doesn't matter to him. He knows what I think too few people remember these days - that satisfying the one or two tables of dissatisfied customers is more important than collecting a hundred-or-so bucks in revenue.

And you know what? It works. While waiting for the check, S and I both said, "That's it, we're done coming here." Once we saw it, well, you think maybe you will; you almost feel obliged. We're still sort of tweaked about the T of P and hoping to hear from him - maybe someone with a kid of their own saw it and figured "hey, free stuff" - but it can be replaced.

Okay, there you have it. Discussion probably more suitable during coffee with my mom, but this time, you're the lucky recipient.

This is the sort of customer service we strive for at Cthulhu's Family Restaurant. If you're not satisfied with a post, please don't hesitate to tell the proprietor and he will gladly steal every shred of your sanity and feed you to the Elder Things.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Songs So Cheesy I Had To Put Them On My iPod 2

Okay, so last week I did some cheesy 70's rock. Well, I did some this week, too. Picking cheesy 70's rock songs is like shooting fish in a barrel. I'll branch out.

This week, a song that I forgot was there.

Throughout rock history, so many songs have followed the format "Boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy loses girl (sometimes to a car crash, sometimes he kills her, sometimes she leaves him) boy laments." Today's song follows the format:

1. Boy is bored on Saturday night
2. Boy drinks and takes drugs
3. Boy wants to go to midnight show
4. Boy drives under the influence
5. Boy goes too fast and can't avoid crashing
6. Boy dies, but can't figure out why

The band: Kiss
The song: Detroit Rock City
The album: Destroyer



BTW I'm posting the full mix, for full effect...

Songs so bad they need to be on my iPod

Pure cheese. But rockin' cheese! So rockin', it's been covered numerous times. And so cheesy, it needs to be on my iPod, and I'm glad it is.

It was also a movie with a BITCHIN' soundtrack. Here's one of my favorite scenes, and it ends with another one of my favorite songs.



Oh...and lyrics...gotta have lyrics...


Lyrics | Kiss - Detroit Rock City lyrics