Mythos Monday - At the Wuthering Heights of Madness

Great, I'm in for it now...because of H.P. Lovecraft, I have to read Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë. How in the name of Yog Sothoth did this happen?

I vaguely remember the circumstances. It was yesterday, but it seems like a strange aeon ago. We were driving back from Fall River to Boston after visiting my ailing grandfather, and NPR's story on Pride and Prejudice and Zombies came on. I think I snarkily remarked about that being the only way pieces like Pride and Prejudice and Wuthering Heights could possibly be made interesting to me, because it's just a bunch of ye olde British people saying (insert blustering, throaty British sounds here).

My better half was quick to defend both books, stating I would probably like them, and mentioning that we have a copy of Wuthering Heights at home that I should read. I snickered, and tried to make like I was only joking, but I had already mentioned that I hadn't been reading enough fiction lately, so I was running out of escape routes.

"I'll tell you what," she says as I claw for a way out of this. Shit. I'm cornered now. She's gonna' challenge my manhood or something, "if you read Wuthering Heights, I'll read Lovecraft."

I smiled, because I'd been trying to get her to read Lovecraft, and also because I knew I was locked in, "Just tell me what I should read." I couldn't resist. It's a deal.

So I decided she'll read the stories of the Cthulhu Mythos. Much, much much easier said than done. There's about 4,000,000,000,000 different ideas of what stories and what authors make it up, so I had to narrow it. I decided to make her reading syllabus approximately as many pages as the Penguin Classics' version of Wuthering Heights (story text only), about 330 pages give or take. I would also limit her reading to stories written by Lovecraft.

Here is what she is reading:

At the Mountains of Madness
The Call of Cthulhu
The Shadow Over Innsmouth
The Dunwich Horror
The Colour Out of Space
Dagon
The Dreams in the Witch House
The Shadow Out of Time
The Whisperer in the Darkness
The Unnamable

Not completely complete...there are quite a few more, depending on how you slice it. I could have added The Nameless City simply to show where ideas for later stories like At the Mountains of Madness came from and it is, I believe, the first of his stories to mention Abdul Alhazred and the "That is not dead which can eternal lie..." line, but it shows up elsewhere. I could have easily added The Case of Charles Dexter Ward and/or The Dream Quest of Unknown Kadath but it would have been almost another 200 pages, and would have necessarily meant cutting out many of the stories listed above. So the best I can hope for is that she reads the above and gets more interested. Not likely, but you never know. She resisted Patrick O'Brian for more than a year, and then got hooked. I know, I know, different genres, but one can hope.

When we got back I made one last attempt to find an easy way out of my part of the deal. They did it for Austen, maybe someone did it for Brontë. Could there be an At the Wuthering Heights of Madness? Maybe The Call of Catherine? Wuthering Heights and Fungi from Yuggoth?

No luck. Oh well, I guess I'd better grin and bear it. Stiff upper lip, you know. Wot-wot?!?!

A Random Task

Whoda' thinked that Austin Powers' "Who throws a shoe?" question would be answered so resoundingly in 2008?

4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them...if you want to do this, consider yourself tagged. Link to yourself in the comments.

But this post has nothing to do with that. It has to do with fish. No, wait, with mummified horse penises. Ummmm...6.022E+23. No, hang on...shit. This stuff is random, but what does any of it have to do with me?

6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up. Hey CRUM!!!! It's up.

3. Under stress, I consistently bite my lip until it splits and then bite the dead skin that hangs off. It drives my wife apeshit.

random - adj. having no specific pattern, purpose or objective.

2. Post the rules on your blog.

So it's really fucking stupid to call this whole exercise random as there is a purpose and objective to it.

6. I'm supposed to be slicking an old iPod for my son to use instead of doing this.

A number of factors may influence the accuracy of semen analysis results, and results for a single man may have a large amount of natural variation over time.[3] For this reason, a subfertile result must be confirmed with at least two further analyses.

5. Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.

1. I don't always feel like following all the rules of a meme.

Christopher Anvil (born 1922) is a pseudonym used by author Harry C. Crosby. He began publishing science fiction with the story "Cinderella, Inc." in the December 1952 issue of the science fiction magazine Imagination. By 1956, he had adopted his pseudonym and was being published in Astounding Magazine.

1. Link to the person who tagged you.

In 2006, for the seventh consecutive time, Allied Irish Bank (GB) won the title of "Britain's Best Business Bank" from the Forum of Private Business, being ranked top for customer service and maintaining its lead over other major banks.

2. I love to use the word "fuck". It also (rightfully) drives my wife apeshit.

The majority of trench maps were to a scale of 1:10,000 or 1:20,000 but maps of 1:40,000, 1:80,000 and smaller scales were printed. Many of the 1:40,000 maps show trenches but were of little use to front line troops. The infantry preferred 1:10,000 and the artillery, mainly 1:20,000 but 1:40,000 were used by the heavy artillery. In the Report on Survey on the Western Front 1914-1918, published in 1920, Colonel E.M. Jack wrote "The 1:20,000 was the map commonly used by the Artillery, and as trenches could be shown on it in sufficient detail to be of use to the infantry it was the most useful scale of all, and the one that could least easily be dispensed with." Colonel Jack was a key figure in Great War cartography.

4. Although I have had considerable success in my career and am well-respected, I feel I am of mediocre ability at best and perpetually not up to the task...to the point of self-defeat sometimes.

Procatalepsis is a figure of speech in which the speaker raises an objection to his own argument and then immediately answers it. By doing so, he hopes to strengthen his argument by dealing with possible counter-arguments before his audience can raise them.

3. Write six random things about yourself.

Izola Curry was an African-American woman who attempted to assassinate civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr. Born in Georgia, she stabbed King with a letter opener at a New York City book signing on September 20, 1958. King was eventually assassinated about ten years later.

5. I met my wife over teh intarwebs 12 years ago, and drove from CA to RI with her three days after meeting her in person.

Should I use facts from random Wikipedia articles to mix this shit up? Sure...

100 RANDOMIZE
200 X = INT(RND*100)+1
300 PRINT X
400 GOTO 100

THoroughly Useless (THU) Thursday

I tried formalizing the words in the chorus of this song, and this is what I came up with:

Because Diminuitive William, William refuses to return to his domicile
However, you will not force him against his will, William refuses to return
Attempt to inform all who have a vested interest, however, you will not succeed
Diminuitive William, William refuses to return to his domicile

When I repeated them to my wife she recommended I post it here, under this title.

Mythos Monday - Images

...a monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind. This thing, which seemed instinct with a fearsome and unnatural malignancy, was of a somewhat bloated corpulence, and squatted evilly on a rectangular block or pedestal covered with undecipherable characters. The tips of the wings touched the back edge of the block, the seat occupied the centre, whilst the long, curved claws of the doubled-up, crouching hind legs gripped the front edge and extended a quarter of the way clown toward the bottom of the pedestal. The cephalopod head was bent forward, so that the ends of the facial feelers brushed the backs of huge fore paws which clasped the croucher's elevated knees.

(from "The Call of Cthulhu" by H.P. Lovecraft)

It's a fairly descriptive paragraph by Lovecraft, and about 10 days ago Ectoplasmosis posted an picture that Lovecaft drew himself of Cthulhu, though it's hardly as fear-inspiring as many modern ones we see. I like that the link talks about the eyes...apparently clustered and spider-like vs. what is normally seen today, though I haven't seen any story text in "TCoC" to indicate they are spider-eyes. Spider-like eyes would add such an incredibly alien character to Cthulhu though...which is probably closer to the intent.

There is a further wealth of images of Cthulhu and mythos-related monsters and some film shorts here as well. Scroll down, lots of good pics.

There's yet another image and a lengthy explanation of Cthulhu, the mythos, and its impact on pop culture etc at How Stuff Works. Interesting picture on the first page...not much of a bloated corpulence there...I think Cthulhu had been hanging out with Brian McNamee and "Raw-jah" for a while.



Still, to each his own. This artist has the bloated corpulence down, but has undersized the wings a bit, methinks. It's still funny as Hell. I hope he produces something new soon.

Or, you could just dress your kid up and take a photo of his non-plussed ass...

Unconnected to the above, but still with roots in Lovecraft and the Mythos, briwei took the time to point me toward the web comic Shadowgirls by David Rodriguez and Dave Reynolds, about a mother-daughter team who discover they have "dark powers" as evil creatures invade their home town of Innsmouth. It's been running for a while now and there's a lot of it I haven't read, but I always dug girl fights. Magical ones are even better. Interesting the mother's name is Charon...

The Twitter-Blog Self-Licking Ice Cream Cone

"I'm telling you this to tell you what I told you before about things I've already told you."
photo: suzukimaruti

So lately I've been seeing a lot of blogger posting their "Daily Twitter Roundup" under various titles. I mean, only in the last couple of weeks. Turns out the daily roundup is delivered by LoudTwitter.com.

Now, I don't see anything wrong with putting your Twitter feed on your blog. It's an interesting addition to the site. I have my feed up, many blogs I follow do as well.

But it's kind of a "side dish" if you will. I don't go to blogs to see what someone tweeted. I mean really, who is so important that you want to visit their site just to see what they tweeted?

And many people (myself included) tweet links to their blog posts...including these "Twitter Roundups".

Okay. That's enough. I like Twitter. I like blogging. But when you have a website post your daily tweets to your blog, and some of those tweets are about your blog posts, and then you send another tweet telling people to come to your blog to read a blogpost to review your tweets, some of which also tell people about your blog YOU'VE GOT A SOCIAL MEDIA SELF-LICKING ICE CREAM CONE.

I can't see why someone would do it that way. I try to think about it. Maybe you gather and tweet lots of links that people want to see. But they can just go to your Twitter home page...and there are better ways to push links via social media. I am by no means a social media ninja. Troglodyte is closer to the truth. If someone knows or has a better reason or gets utility, I'd like to know. I guess it's a good way to screw around on Twitter all day and still complete all your NaBloPoMo goals.

I post things here because they are, to me, worth more than 140 characters. If I don't have something worth pointing out or discussing, I don't bother. I would argue that a post generated by the LoudTwitter / Blog self-licking ice cream cone stands a good chance of not even being worth one of the 140-character tweets it lists.

Huh?

I wonder if I'm overreacting or being a typical "my kid is smarter than you and can do no wrong" parent. I probably am, a little bit. But my (and my wife's) hide is slightly chapped. Last week, my son turned in what appeared to be a typical piece of homework, geared toward preparing for the state standardized academic tests he will go through later this year. We really have a problem with the outcome.

First, I have a problem with the entire process. I find that the homework, especially the math homework, is more geared toward teaching problem-solving mechanics than actually comprehending concepts. I've talked about this before. Teaching toward understanding concepts is more effective.

This time it was in a reading comprehension piece, not math. The story was an adaptation of the classic fable of Androcles and the Lion.

There were a series of multiple choice questions, and a final question requiring a written answer. The final question was "Did Androcles deserve to die? Why or why not?" My son's answer was very basic - No he did not, because he was escaping slavery, and nobody should be made to be a slave. My wife and I reviewed the answer, and agreed.

It turns out the teacher didn't and awarded 50% (2 of 4) for the question. Her comment was "What about helping the lion?"

What about it?

First of all, the question misses the entire point of the story - which is simply that kindness and friendship are repaid many times over. While it definitely influenced the lion's decision to let Androcles live, it has absolutely no bearing on whether or not he "deserves" death. Take the Lion out - does Androcles deserve to die simply because he is an escaped slave? Put the lion back in but assume Androcles is a child molesting AIG executive who routinely waterboards endangered polar bears. Does he deserve to live because he helped a lion?

Secondly, the grade automatically discourages thinking beyond the face value of the story. Which is bad because, as I stated, the very question was not germane to the moral.

But my wife and I were in an absolute funk over this. He wasn't happy either; he wondered what he could do and we told him he could always ask her about it and explain, which he did. Nope. He deserved to live because he took the splinter out.

Now I don't think we're going to press anything. It's small potatoes, really - it's not going to keep him from going to Harvard (the cost will, though), the state standardized tests are not "counted" at this level, and his teacher repeatedly sings his praises when we see her out and about. I'll just chalk it up to "It's those stupid standardized tests."

What we really wanted to do was write a letter and attach it to the paper stating that the actions of Androcles, while demonstrating friendship and kindness, have zero bearing on the ethical and existential question governing whether he retained or forfeited his right to continue breathing. I still might. Or, maybe I'll just write "What if Androcles were a child-molesting AIG Executive who routinely waterboards endangered polar bears?"

No, I won't do that either.

Mythos Monday - Better Late Than Never

I meant to have everything put together long before now, but with a damned busy job, four young children, and a myriad of other things going on in my life, I usually can't sit down to start doing anything until around 10pm...but nonetheless, there is plenty to stick up here from the world of politics, entertainment, pop culture, and even academia...so here goes:

Paul of Cthulhu, creator of Yog-Sothoth.com points out The H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society's Dark Adventure Radio Theatre (DART). Radio re-creations of four outstanding Lovecraft stories: At The Mountains of Madness, The Dunwich Horror, The Shadow Out of Time, and The Shadow Over Innsmouth. You can listen to (or download) the trailers for free, but the programs themselves cost. I normally wouldn't point someone towards something you need to pay for, so I'll say that I'm not affiliated with HPLHS in any way, I can't vouch for what you're going to get and I don't get paid to do any advertising for them. The trailers are cool, and they were all I needed to hear.

Also in entertainment, looks like we may see Lovecraft's work on TV soon. Fangoria reported recently that Herbert West - Reanimator: The Series is currently in development.

What BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER was for Gothic storytelling, HERBERT WEST: RE-ANIMATOR will be for sci-fi and horror.

Little secret: I liked Buffy - the movie and the series. If you look at the pictures, however, it looks more like 90210 or The O.C. meets Lovecraft. I'll probably end up watching it anyway. And when I realize that it's too adapted to the youth of today, I'll probably still watch it, using my need to heap unimaginable amounts of scorn upon it as the rationalization...

Earlier this month the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka KS protested at the University of Chicago over some bullshit or other, dragging along their usual gang of fucktards. It turns out the Phelpsian douchebags were met with a ferocious counter-protest from all walks of student and staff life, including this young lady:


Immediate popularity among people who've actually heard the name Cthulhu on various social networks like twitter, flickr, etc. Hmmmmm...you know, I got to give the gal "snaps" for poking fun at Freddie and his gang of hatemongers, but I find the sign sort of lame...Maybe I'm just being a party pooper.

Since I just talked about goings on at a university, the final few links are going to be more "academic" in nature.

Jason Colavito is an anthropologist and journalist who enjoys debunking fringe science and "Ancient Astronaut" theories. On his website he takes some time looking at H.P. Lovecraft as a jumping off point for the whackos who actually believe in this stuff...

Dr. Justin Woodman is another anthropologist who studies the occult extensively and is also a Lovecraft fanatic. Look at his profile on his blog and you'll see what I mean. He apparently did a series of four lectures in 2007 concerning Lovecraft and his influence on the occult; I bookmarked the page on Yog-Sothoth.com some time ago, but have yet to get around to listening. You know...all that spare time I have.