For Those Who Cannot Be Here

The kids have long since fallen asleep, and the gifts are finally wrapped and we can go to bed. But before we do I'd like to share one more Christmas song, based on accounts of Christmas on the battle fields of World War I. I usually don't care for modern songs (or Christmas poems!) that support/thank/pay tribute to servicemen or put them on pedestals. Many of them just seem too contrived - drop some buzzwords like defending freedom, flags, etc., with a catchy tune and voila...people feel good an you make money. They seem more born of the desire to idealize and generalize than empathize with someone "standing the watch".

This song is more heartfelt, to me.

Christmas in the Trenches

It was interesting reading of these occurrences when I was young, though the meaning really didn't sink in until later in life. It's a hopeful song. If Christmas, whatever it is/means, is enough to get mortal enemies to put aside their quarrel for even a day, then there is hope.

To those of you standing the watch, walking a post, far away from your friends and family, Merry Christmas. Stay safe, and come home soon.

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UPDATE: WOW!!! Check the history note for today! I had NO IDEA that's what it was going to be when I started writing!

Christmas Musical Suckfest

Last week I posted five of the best, now here are five of the rest. I find that pop stars and rock stars screw up many, many more Christmas songs than they get right. Whether they take an old standard and spin it so horribly that if flies apart or they try to capture the spirit of Christmas in an original work and just plain miss it. Either way, I hate them; but I LOVE to hate them.

So here they are...my five worst* Christmas songs:

Deck the Halls - Mannheim Steamroller. No band in the history of mankind has ever sucked the life and soul out of Christmas music as completely and effortlessly as Mannheim Steamroller wit the cheesy synthesizer, the bouncy electronic drums, and the overdone sustain. The only thing wrong with this piece is everything. I really don't know why people buy this crap.

You Make It Feel Like Christmas - Neil Diamond. I guess it's just the overall "Neil Diamond-ness" that kills this song for me. The whole "So wake up the kids...put on some tea...light up the tree...". Light it up LIKE THIS? Cuz' that's what you make me feel like, Neil. In fact, I'm going to watch that one again while listening...

Same Old Lang Syne - Dan Fogelberg. Oh. My. God. Shoot. Me. Now. I've gotta' give Dan props for working the frozen food section into a song, and I guess it's not REALLY a Christmas song, but he does say that the snow was falling Christmas eve. It's just...so...sappy. And he downs a six pack in a car with his ex and doesn't get any play? Wussy, girly-man.

Early Christmas Morning - Cyndi Lauper. James brought up another lousy Christmas song of hers. I've hated this one for years. Said it before I'll say it again. She has one of the ten most annoying voices in the world.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - Coldplay. No explanation needed - it's freakin' Coldplay.

Worst Christmas Tunes

And if the widget will only let you play 30 sec of each song (it's been known to happen) you can link here for the entire awful package.

*excluding that Gawdawful "Christmas Shoes" song! That is truly the "Al Qaeda" of Christmas songs and I refuse to link to or provide any other means to play that musical turd on my site.

Kinky Bing Oi! Bloody Orchestral Drummer Christmas

There are still plenty of cheesy songs on my iPod, but this week I've decided to start trying to get into the Christmas spirit with music. So I'll push a few of my favorites right here...not a lot of traditional songs (well, only one really) on my favorites, though I like many of the traditional ones...

Father Christmas - The Kinks. Good riff, tough lyrics, good message - "...but remember the kids who have nothing when you're drinking down your wine."

Jingle Bells - Bing Crosby. I love the fat big band sound, esp. the explosion of horns after the second verse. I couldn't find the live version I wanted to put here.

Oi! To the World - No Doubt. A 1997 cover of a Vandals song and the only No Doubt song that I really give a shit for.

Hey Santa Clause - Kevin Bloody Wilson. A raunchy Aussie singer's dirty take on Christmas. NSWF/NSFK - if you are offended easily, do not listen. And if you do and are offended, don't complain. I warned you. Funny as s***. My Australian feminist wife says so.

Carol of the Bells - Trans-Siberian Orchestra. 'Nuff said. They sound like they could beat up Mannheim Steamroller. Which would be a good thing.

The Little Drummer Boy - Johnny Cash. I really like the message that it doesn't take wealth, power or status to do good. Ultimately, the greatest thing you can give is to give of yourself.

Best Christmas Tunes

And one bonus...

Carol of the Old Ones

Next week...the suckiest Christmas songs...