The Enemy...

I've come to realize today that I have an enemy. Actually, I know I've had this enemy for quite some time now, I'm just finally realizing that I have to stand up, say "fuck you" and shoot the sum'bitch down. To say my enemy has made things difficult is an understatement - he has made my work suffer, and has intimidated me into near paralysis. My performance suffers because of it. My career could very well suffer because of it. And if that happens, my family will definitely suffer, all due to my enemy who has recently revealed himself to me.

Perfection...the enemy of good enough. Now I would not call myself a perfectionist - at least not "openly" so. I'm perfectly happy to get by on many things, particularly when I'm doing them for myself. I determine what is needed and get it done well and I am satisfied.

But when I have a requirement placed on me - to deliver "up the chain" - things can get out of hand in a hurry. I look at what needs to be done, determine the specified and implied tasks, and the mental mayhem begins. Question after question mulled over, detail after detail piled on, constantly looking to add more and more.

I feel that if I leave even the tiniest hole...anything up to question - "have you thought about?" - that I have failed. That I was not up to the task to begin with. Now this has a place - in a final product, presented to a customer, or a plan that places people and equipment "on the line" you need this level of attention. But in something like a proposal, an outline, a brief position paper, this is ruinous.

And I end up there often; I'm looking way too deep, doing way too much, and after stress, hand wringing and way too much work, I pare things way down and produce something more reasonable. It's usually what should be done in the first place, but the mental byproduct of my effort is that I am thoroughly unhappy with the product and myself, even if it is in itself correct.

Alternately, I'll let the thinking and "what if"-ing drive me into an overwhelmed paralysis, squander too much time, and produce something at or near the last minute that embodies too much effort for the result. Again, almost always "on target" but the net effect of the process is to deflate my opinion of my own abilities.

It applies to my writing, too. It's part of the reason I do not post as often as I want. Mentally I am reading and re-reading as I type, becoming unhappy with it while it's coming out, then deleting and re-writing. So that a piece like this that should take 20 minutes takes 45.

So...I need to break a habit. And that habit is striving for perfection when perfection isn't called for.

Sometimes, good enough is.

Mythos Monday - Cthulhu is Boring!

Shortly after starting this blog I initiated a failed attempt to do a weekly link-dump for Cthulhu and things Lovecraftian. It only lasted a few weeks because...well...the shit can be really...BORING. And nothing is more boring than geeky boring. Like someone tweeting "Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fthagn!" Gee, I've NEVER heard that before...how clever.

I guess what I'm saying is, impress me, make me laugh, show me something I never seen before. I love geeky, but it needs to not suck...or at least be original. So that's what I'm going to try to do here, every Monday. Take what I've seen over the past week that I like and just dump it here with some commentary. As much to catalog it for myself as for anyone else.

I can't remember who to hat tip for this one, and I'm not sure of the veracity of all the claims, but I am 100% sure that the claim as to Cthulhu's abilities are false.

Neo-con blogger Robert Stacy McCain invoked the Great One's name used some Cthulhu imagery as a harbinger of doom for "Mad Money" Jim Cramer.

I'm not a writer. But I did sleep at a Holiday Inn Express about 4 years ago when I moved my family from Washington to Rhode Island. Which is why the concept of The Innsmouth Free Press seems like a lot of fun. A fictional Loevcraftian publication that is actually generated by its readers. Assuming they take any of my drivel. @innsmouthpress. And in one of their latest tweets they point out this funny (and 3-year old) take on a popular late-70s' / early-80's maritime show...

And I'm saving the best for last. The Obscure Hollow posted some pictures and clips from a trio of Lovecraftian creations. The first was the 2005 movie "The Call of Cthulhu" available from the H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society. I did not know this existed. But I do now, and as soon as I take a minute from this silly self-aggrandizing masturbatory publishing lark I intend to order the DVD. The second is a pair of Lovecraft video shorts just put up today. One is a silent film adaptation (from the 1930's) of The Other Gods that is pretty cool. My favorite there is the "A Lovecraft Dream" animated piece that brilliantly...well, just watch it - you won't be disappointed!

That's it for this first Mythos Monday. No, Cthulhu really isn't boring, if you know what you're looking for. Everyone has fun with the mythos in his own way...

If you see anything you think I'd like, get hold of me at:

cthulhusfamilyrestaurant@gmail.com
http://twitter.com/Chef_Cthulhu

The 25 Writers Meme Part I

Like Dawn at Weldable Cookies who tagged me with this, I don't always take to memes right away, if at all. I've been doing quite a few lately though, so what's the harm in one more? Pretty simple - list 25 authors that have influenced my writing. I'm not sure I have that many influences lately outside The Naval Institute Guide to Writing. But I tried. I don't know if I see all of the below in my writing, but they all have/had a profound effect on me. Like my last "double digit" meme that required thinking, I'm publishing this one piece meal. Half today, half later...

1. H. P. Lovecraft - Duh. Nobody before or since has mastered the combining of science fiction and horror. I think the mythos he created is not only vastly under-appreciated, but also overdone in the silliest way. And many of us who appreciate it also overdo it...we all have. Hey, lots of people like to say "Cthulhu" and snicker like Beavis and Butthead.

2. J. R. R. Tolkein - The detail with which he created Middle Earth, combined with the eloquent manner in which he drew me into it. Very, very few could ever do that. He spoiled every other fantasy author for me. I could not get past 50 pages of any of them after I'd finished LoTR.

3. Patrick O'Brian - What Lovecraft and Tolkien are to fantasy and horror, O'Brian is to historical fiction, especially the great age of fighting sail. Forget the movie - though it is a reasonable representation of life in Nelson's navy - Master and Commander the book is such a phenomenal piece of literature. Instead of creating a world, he meticulously re-creates the world of two centuries ago, and goes to extreme lengths to preserve the actual history itself - if he puts Captain Aubrey in a particular event, he does so only when there is a logical avenue (i.e. he doesn't replace a Lieutenant with a Captain) and does not change the outcome (if the good guys lose, they lose); I've had arguments with friends who favor C. S. Forester's Hornblower to "Lucky Jack" Aubrey, but I prefer the historic accuracy and detail over the swashbuckling.

4. Michael Moorcock - Okay, I lied when I said Tolkien spoiled other fantasy authors for me. The Elric Saga showed me that fantasy can have a gritty, gut-wrenching anti-hero and still be damned good reading. It also turned me on to The Chronicles of Corum, a tale rife with mutilation, loss, slaughter and revenge. Oh yeah - and if you ever listen to Veteran of the Psychic Wars by Blue Oyster Cult, you have Moorcock to thank.

5. Denny Aaberg - If you aren't into surfing, surf history and the Malibu scene, you have no idea who he is. Denny Aaberg wrote two short stories about a 60's-era hot-dog surfer named "No Pants Mance" that are just brilliant. They embody the spirit of surfing to me. Maybe you've seen the movie Big Wednesday, directed by John Milius of all people. It's based upon the characters from these stories.

6. Stephen King - The second horror author on my literary trek to H. P. Lovecraft. He also cites Howie as a big time influence. His meshing of visceral, soul-shaking horror had a huge impact on me. His greatest work was done in a time when I was growing up and in the phase where I was just beginning the transition from boyhood to manhood. Everything takes on a deeper meaning then. Oh, and he's a Red Sox fan. So there.

7. Edgar Allen Poe - As with many people, he was my first literary introduction into the macabre and the dark side of human nature. The Telltale Heart and The Cask of Amantillado being early favorites. Though I think the latter would have been better if the main character had said "biatch" after "Nemo me impune lacessit" and "motherfucker" after "In pace requiascat!"

8. Earnest Hemingway - The courage and fortitude of the "Hemingway Hero" through pain and suffering, triumphing only to lose everything - as demonstrated in The Old Man and the Sea and A Farewell to Arms - love it or hate it, it's powerful.

9. George Orwell - Yeah the books about piggies and the government running everything are really great, but I also admire his persistent quest for clear, and concise written communication that relies on the active voice. If more people would take this on board, the average yokel's writing wouldn't be so doubleplusungood.

10. Nathaniel Hawthorne - The Scarlet Letter. I swore I'd shoot myself before I read this again or allowed myself to write anything that even vaguely resembled it.

11. William Gibson - Pioneer of the cyberpunk and steampunk fiction genres. Think the movie Johnny Mnemonic sucks? It does. But the short story is pretty awesome.

12. Craig Stecyk - journalist who in the 1970's first exposed the whole "Dogtown" skate scene in Venice CA in a series of articles for Skateboarder. Written many times about the surfing / skateboarding scene and lifestyle, always with an incredible edge. From in your face, "Fuck you, we rule and we know it" reporting to breathtaking "man vs. ocean" short stories. Great stuff.

Uh, okay, that's half...roughly. And I'm actually going to tag people this time because I think this is a cool meme and a good mental exercise. So I'll tag half the people now and half later.

Randal at L'ennui melodieux - it's about time I tagged you back, and you're a damned good writer, so I wanna' know!

Dr. Momentum at Aces Full of Links - you may have read more than any person I know. I hope you take this one up.

The Shadow Over Innsmouth, The Musical

First - movies.

Now, musicals...


h/t HPLHS

Further Complicating the Identity Crisis

Okay so after starting up the new home brewing blog I've finally made the break complete. My other blog and Cthulhu's Family Restaurant are now separated entities in blogger, run by one guy through different profiles.

"Chef Cthulhu" is now the new admin name here. But you can still call me Bull.

Call it double life, whatever...it's all part of my vision.

Reality Imitates the Mythos...Again...

There's got to be a reason that this story from the core of the mythos is so appealing on so many levels...


This could be one of them.

Geologists say that mountain ranges such as the Alps or the Himalayas form in collisions between continents. The last time Antarctica was exposed to such forces was 500 million years ago.

"The mystery here is that the Alps are only 50 to 60 million years old, while here we have a mountain range that may perhaps be as old as 500 million years," Ferraccioli said.

Hmmm...think they'll find any triangular slates with striated markings when the ice sheet melts?

It seems that he had pondered a great deal, and with alarmingly radical daring, over that triangular striated marking in the slate; reading into it certain contradictions in nature and geological period which whetted his curiosity to the utmost, and made him avid to sink more borings and blastings in the west-stretching formation to which the exhumed fragments evidently belonged. He was strangely convinced that the marking was the print of some bulky, unknown, and radically unclassifiable organism of considerably advanced evolution, notwithstanding that the rock which bore it was of so vastly ancient a date - Cambrian if not actually pre-Cambrian - as to preclude the probable existence not only of all highly evolved life, but of any life at all above the unicellular or at most the trilobite stage. These fragments, with their odd marking, must have been five hundred million to a thousand million years old.

I can't be sure. I wonder if we're going to see any aeons-old protoplasmic things or cylindrical, winged space beings. We just can't be sure. But he knows....

He knows...

Now this is religion in schools that I could be a fan of...

Wrapping Up the Album Meme

I decided to do the 15 most significant albums meme in two parts because that's how I decided to do it. Since I did 8 covering through high school last time, we start off in the college years now. So 7 more albums to cover the last 22 years...and the more I think about this stuff the harder it is, but who cares, I'm not getting a grade on this. Yadda-yadda-yadda-bullshit-bullshit here we go...

9. The Wall - Pink Floyd. Yeah, like every college kid doesn't relate to this album. The part I related to the most was Track 5, Side 4, "Stop". No, I wasn't tired of being a fascist dictator. I was going through some tough adjustments entering "military life" as an officer candidate and the lyrics "I wanna' go home...take off this uniform and leave the show..." rung fairly true. In retrospect, I was being a wimp, and I'm glad I didn't cave.

10. Pornography - The Cure. By the time I'd graduated college I had every one of their CD's. Still do. Ranging from early Brit post-punk pop to fluttery, big-hair-and-lipstick wailing euro-whatever, this album is by far their best work. Dark, downbeat, guitar-based despair with a heavy dose of pulsating base drums, goth rock at its best. All you sniveling "emo" twits should understand where you came from. Then get a life.

11. Turn it Around! - Various Artists. Another compilation that is not really an album at all. It was a pair of 7" records. I found it at a used / indy record shop near campus while I was gaining interest in the whole "DIY" attitude of the late 80's punk/hardcore scene. The record was produced as a fundraising effort for 924 Gilman St. I'd never heard of the place at the time, but based on the band names and pics on the jacket it looked to be a good risk. Turned out to be a great choice - played it to death.

12. Southern Harmony and Musical Companion - The Black Crowes. The first music to really move me after I had left the dreamworld of college and got out on my own. After dealing with so much of the early 90's "alternative" stuff that was saturating the LA and Long Beach airwaves this was the first new thing I'd heard in years that just felt "real". As awesome today as it was 17 years ago.

I'd have to say the most significant albums have been the ones that point backwards. And like a couple of previous ones, they are all compilations. I like them because they condense the work of artists I enjoyed or caught snippets of growing up, but most of the time did not stop to take the time (or was just too young) to really appreciate them for what they were doing.

13. The Story of The Clash Vol. 1 - The Clash. Do people really know how much is "owed" to Joe Strummer and Mick Jones? Probably not.

14. Decade of Steely Dan - Steely Dan. With Donald Fagen, another graduate of the Heavy Metal Soundtrack. All of their greatest work (except "Hey Nineteen") was done before I really even had a fucking clue of what good music was about.

15. Anthology: Through the Years - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Tom Petty. He may be ugly as sin, but his music is a fine wine...it only gets better with age. One of, if not THE, quintessential American rockers. Yeah Bruce Springsteen, maybe even more than you. Blasphemy? Depends on your point of view.

So there you have it...the last half. 15 is really a small number - I could easily double the number with honorable mentions, but I've spent enough time on this already, and my muse is departing...